BY LINDA STOLLINGS
I know many of you do not know me personally, but when I am around town you tell me you follow my column each week. I so appreciate that and thank each one of you for being a faithful follower.
Many of you do not know me personally, but in a way you do because we chat each week. As you know I am very passionate person, if I believe in something deeply, you better watch out! Hopefully I am not obnoxious, that might be up for debate, but speaking my mind seems to come very easily. Knowing all the facts, might come after I have already opened my mouth. At times that impulsiveness has gotten me in trouble, not deep trouble, but just the kind of trouble that makes you feel convicted to apologize for unnecessary words. Fortunately, I am married to a man that thinks first and speaks later, so watching him over the years has taught me a few things. He is slow to speak and slow to anger as taught in the scripture. That is a great virtue and certainly bodes well for our mental health.
Anger is one of the most basic human emotions. It is a physical and mental response to a perceived threat or harm. Anger can indeed rob joy, cause physical illness, destroy relationships, cause depression, anxiety, and leave a cynical attitude lingering behind. So how do we deal with anger?
First of all, let me say that there is such a term as righteous anger. Righteous anger is typically a reactive emotion of anger over perceived mistreatment, insult, humiliated, hurt or malice. We are human beings, not perfect beings, so experiencing anger is a very natural emotion. Anger is sometimes called a secondary emotion, because it is triggered by a perceived threat or attack against our physical, spiritual, or emotional health. The key is what we do with this emotion, how we handle it without compromising our wellbeing and the wellbeing of others.
Honestly, over the past few months I have experienced righteous anger on several occasions. Most times I held in in the road, but not always. I am a glass half full kind of person, seeing the good in people, and enjoying the journey. So anger is not a companion of mine. It sometimes comes on quickly but leaves just as quickly. For that I am thankful!!
Whoever coined the term “life is not fair”, did indeed know what they were talking about. Life is not always fair, as we would define fairness. So don’t expect everything in life to fit into a perfect mold. You will be disappointed and hurt at times, and things will seem unfair. Do not let that blind you to the goodness all around you! The other phrase “it is what it is” is also brilliant. Sometimes we just have to get up, shake off the dust, and move on. Here are some productive, healthy ways to deal with anger.
Think before you speak- thank you Mike Stollings. That goes for emails and texting too.
When you calm down, express your anger- Do not just stuff it all in and then explode one day. Express it in a non-confrontational way.
Exercise- Of course you knew this was coming. Physical activity will reduce stress, help you think more clearly, and reduce anxiety. It’s a great way to release your anger before confronting the source of it.
Avoid criticizing and placing blame- Speak the truth of how you feel. Be specific, and respectful using the word “I” feel like (feel in the blank) instead of you make me feel this way.
Last but not least- know when to seek professional help. Anger can control and destroy, so keep it in check and seek help immediately if your anger is out of control.
See you in the gym!!
